Archive of ‘Mindfulness’ category

Messy, imperfect, funny, love-filled life

“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”

I came to this realization a few days ago: for the past few months I’ve been treating my life as if it’s temporary, in between. Wow. I then realized that yes, it is temporary, but it always is. That is the nature of life. This day, week, month, year is no different from the others. Change is always happening. Can you imagine how boring life would be if it wasn’t? So, this is my life. In all of its imperfection and chaos and boringness and love and light and fun. It’s all life. It’s not any more or less temporary than any other part of life. Well, except for vacation. I would say that’s the one exception. I think since I adamantly decided that I hate Pennsylvania and wish that we never moved I let myself get into this mindset that this was like a little vacation. A pretty boring one, but I suppose I almost thought of it as not part of the rest of the path of my life. How crazy is that? So it’s time to accept that this is it. Right now. This is it. Is it temporary? Yes, of course it is! But that doesn’t make it any less real or important. It doesn’t mean that important things aren’t happening. I’m starting my business! I’m out of the 9 to 5 world! That’s big. That’s good. I don’t have to deal with bosses (I have had boss issues since I’ve entered the world of full-time job-ness)! Clients, yes, but no bosses! Indira and Dave are the closest thing I have to bosses. And, come on, that’s just laughable, right? That’s even great. And there’s more. More real life stuff that’s good. Dave is teaching at a kick-ass job and getting paid way more than he got when he taught at two different schools that were an hour and forty minutes away from each other (? I think). And he loves his job! And our daughter is almost one! How the hell did that even happen? I mean, I know. I guess it happened while I was living in temporary life lala land. Waiting for something else to happen. So yes, she’s going to be one, she’s going to be walking soon, she’s been trying to talk and she’s been charming the pants off of everyone around her. Okay, well, maybe not the pants, but you get the idea.

And, no, this hasn’t been happening for the past year. My haze. It’s not like I haven’t appreciated, noticed, and relished in the beautiful little moments that weaved their way through our lives in the past year. I have. I have just been sidetracked for the past few months. Time to change that. And look on the bright side. Spring is coming, our house is amazing, our daughter is crazy awesome, and soon we will be hiking on the weekends (there’s plenty of hiking here), visiting museums in the city (as in NY), and then it will be summer break! Life is pretty good, huh?


Indira's first photo! (of her mom) She needs her own DSLR!

Indira's first photo! She needs her own DSLR!

And, to conclude. Here are some things that I am loving/excited about/grateful for:

  • Yoga classes that I have yet to take (I have a gift of five classes for the cute studio in our town)!
  • It’s nice to have a winter with constant snow-on-the-ground
  • Reconnecting with old friends and feeling them fill my cup
  • Evening alone time for Dave and I (even if we both are tired by that time)
  • New things (teeth, words, standing, laughs, faces)
  • Our kitchen rocks. It makes cooking so nice. Granted, three glasses of wine would make cooking even better (but, alas, breastfeeding), but we’re focusing on the positive here
  • Design work leads
  • I lost a whole crapload of emails from my inbox (long story) – it made me sad, made me stressed, and then made me feel FREE of clutter
  • Mondo Beyondo ecourse even though I’m behind!
  • iphone arriving on Thursday (awesome gift!!!)
  • Had breakfast and snacks and dinner and relaxing hang out time with a bunch of family members this weekend (something that I couldn’t easily do last year)

Biggest accomplishment in 2010

So, I admit that I hate for this to be the answer too often, but this was a  gigantic accomplishment. Well, actually, more like 6 pounds, 15 ounces. But it was such an amazing journey getting there. The road there was so incredibly special for D and I. I think we felt closer than we ever had before. It wasn’t easy but it was magical. And then, the prize at the end! This little person with pieces of both of us that turned our world upside down and shook it up. She’s still doing that! It’s been happy and sad and natural and difficult. There were times where it seemed impossible. I recall the first two weeks or parenthood when we had this realization that this was constant, unrelenting, always there. It’s a giant thing for two independent people to realize. It’s left us changed. And I’d say it’s an accomplishment that keeps on going.


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